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The Masked Tulip

Darwin Award Candidates

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'All that was left was his underwear and sandals': Zimbabwean pastor demonstrating how Jesus walked on water for his congregation is eaten alive by three CROCODILES

What on earth was he thinking? Was he thinking? Did no one try and stop him? Or did they just shrug their shoulders?

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6 hours ago, Frank Hovis said:

Top comment, and deservedly so:

Earwig O, North Yorkshire, United Kingdom, 10 hours ago

Even crocodiles can get sick of eating meat all the time and like a bit of pastor for a change.

 

xD

That's truly outstanding. :D

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This

http://www.southafricalatestnews.co.za/gossip/8647-pastor-eaten.html

seems to be the original as it doesn't cite anywhere else.

Quote

Pastor trying to walk on water at the Crocodile River gets eaten by 3 crocodiles

A pastor from a local church in White River Mpumalanga died this morning trying to demonstrate a biblical miracle to his congregants.

Pastor Jonathan Mthethwa of the ‘Saint of the last days church drowned into the crocodile River also know as the crocodile river and was seen by his church members getting eaten by 3 crocodiles.

“The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week. He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by 3 large crocodiles in front of us. We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week.” said Deacon Nkosi, who is one of the church members.
It is said that Pastor Mthethwa walked into the water and when he was 30 meters inside the river, he attempted to ascend above the water so he can start walking, but the 3 crocodile appeared out of no where and started feasting on him.

“They finished him in a couple of minutes. All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his underwear floating above the water.” said Deacon Nkosi.

ER24 responded to the scene 30 minutes after,but upon arrival, there was not much they could do as the man of god was already dead.

 

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It's all gone weird...

Quote

A satirical African website has fooled the internet with a 'too good to be true' story about a Zimbabwean pastor who was eaten alive by three crocodiles while demonstrating how Jesus walked on water. 
The website, National News Bulletin, wrote a story about the unfortunate Pastor Jonathan Mthethwa who it was claimed prayed and fasted for a week before making the attempt to cross 'Crocodile River' when he was attacked by the crocodiles. 
From there, the story was picked up by Zimbabwe Today on March 24, 2017. 

Same link as above.... Talk about re-writing history. Fucking hell.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4505420/Did-pastor-REALLY-eaten-three-crocodiles.html#ixzz4h5zEtZEv

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4505420/Pastor-eaten-crocodiles-demonstrating-Jesus-water-walk.html#ixzz4h5zEtZEv

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The story came to worldwide prominence after the Nigerian Daily Post picked up the story and wrongly attributed it to the Zimbabwe Herald, who never ran the story. 

... which the Daily Fail could have checked out before printing the story.

And from the 2016 article I dug out

Quote

News SA reports that the ‘prophet’ had performed many other miracles in the past. The miracles include: turning peanuts into peanut butter and making lemonade out of lemons.

F***ing lazy journalist muppets.

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The dosbods massive needs to sell our collective services to those wanting to sniff out and reveal fake news. 

Oh wait, tptb have their interests served by this crap, they are just virtue signalling  

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All part of the plan to feed us fake news and get us not believing the real news. "You say there is an elite hell-bent on profiteering from swamping Western civilisation?" Really? I am sure it is all just fake new - remember that fake story about the pastor and the crocodiles?".

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3 hours ago, Happy Renting said:

For a DM article, the default assumption is that it is BS.

This. I would guess they have some sort of automated software that calculates the space remaining in the rag that they want to fill, and selects from a vast database of "articles" of that type based on the right number of words, type of story etc etc.

They can't be far off not needing DM journalists at all, an AI could do it from the news agencies' stories and this kind of drivel.

 

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34 minutes ago, WorkingPoor said:

 

Big game hunter crushed to death by elephant as it collapses on top of him after being fatally shot

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/theunis-botha-big-game-hunter--10469997

Father of five, so not out of the gene pool

I assume it will be quite a wide coffin 

Edited by Captain Cavey

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I'm not sure she counts as a Darwin contender since she failed to remove herself from the gene pool.

This bloke, on the other hand, removed himself from it quite spectacularly, albeit after fathering one child already, with another on the way:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-40438207

tl;dr - bloke tried using a book to stop a bullet fired by his girlfriend from one foot away into his chest. The gun? A .50cal Desert Eagle. D'oh.

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