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Great Guy

Ever called 999?

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I've literally not phoned 999 for all my life. Then I've called it twice in two weeks...

Two weeks ago I was in my kitchen and I saw some dick walking down a row of parked cars trying the door handles of each of them :( then this morning I see someone trying to steal a bike while I'm walking to work :( 

Is it a bellend epidemic?

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I did a few years ago. Walking down a very secluded bit of a steam that runs parallel to the houses opposite me. Came across a scrote trying to hide as I came along. Before he saw me, he was trying to scale a fence into someone’s garden. 

They gave zero fucks. 

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Just the once, fishing in the fens early January morning, the River Ouse relief channel had been flooded, and we could hear someone distant calling for help. Was very faint, wasn't even sure if it was a person at first.

Didn't know which service to request, but eventually the fire service turned up, who then called the coast guard, helicopter arrived and plucked some poor guy out of a tree, he'd tried to drive through the flooded channel and spent the night up a tree. His car was nowhere to be seen. Lucky man, if we'd not braved the cold weather and an early start in a remote area, he'd have frozen

Edited by snaga

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They won't care about a bike. My partner's colleague had her bike nicked and she saw it for sale on Gumtree. Arranged to meet the guy to "buy" it and called the 5-0. They just said we can't help too busy, we recommend you dont go it's probably dangerous etc. She went with her boyfriend and he stole it back xD

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1 minute ago, snaga said:

Just the once, fishing in the fens early January morning, the River Ouse relief channel had been flooded, and we could hear someone distant calling for help. Was very faint, wasn't even sure it was a person at first.

Didn't know which service to request, but eventually the fire service turned up, who then called the coast guard, helicopter arrived and plucked some poor guy out of a tree, he'd tried to drive through the flooded channel and spent the night up a tree. His car was nowhere to be seen. Lucky man, if we'd not braved the cold weather and an early start in a remote area, he'd have frozen

You anti-darwinian award type, you

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never mind this 999 lark, have you ever been vacuuming naked and slipped and fallen on the vac's nozzle crotch first (with a raging stiffy) and then found yourself calling an ambulance?

no?

are you sure? Im sure weve all done it at some time, or at least thought about it eh?

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4 minutes ago, leonardratso said:

never mind this 999 lark, have you ever been vacuuming naked and slipped and fallen on the vac's nozzle crotch first (with a raging stiffy) and then found yourself calling an ambulance?

no?

are you sure? Im sure weve all done it at some time, or at least thought about it eh?

I've never really got the whole vacuum thing. Perhaps because i'm younger and we now have access to fleshlights and other gadgets. Although I can't comment on if they're any good. I'm a tight arse and £60 seems a piss take :D

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I did once, I crashed my car and I was on it's roof in between two corners. There was a house nearby and I asked to use their phone (it was before mobiles), trudged mud into their carpet and bled on their floors on the way in, couldn't think of a number other than 999 and was concerned somebody would come round the corner and hit my car. They sent, roughly (was years ago) two police cars, a police van, two fire engines and an ambulance.

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9 minutes ago, Carl Fimble said:

I did once, I crashed my car and I was on it's roof in between two corners. There was a house nearby and I asked to use their phone (it was before mobiles), trudged mud into their carpet and bled on their floors on the way in, couldn't think of a number other than 999 and was concerned somebody would come round the corner and hit my car. They sent, roughly (was years ago) two police cars, a police van, two fire engines and an ambulance.

obviously a range rover, must have hit a pebble or cats eye.

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I used to call 999, not in an obsessive Victor Meldrew kind of way, but in the sense of averting danger or stopping a crime.

Bit it alwasy seemed that they were more interested in my personal details than listening to what I had to say, so I don't bother any more.

Edited by Hopeful

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35 minutes ago, Admiral Pepe said:

I've never really got the whole vacuum thing. Perhaps because i'm younger and we now have access to fleshlights and other gadgets. Although I can't comment on if they're any good. I'm a tight arse and £60 seems a piss take :D

You’re not using the fleshlight correctly.

RTFM

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No.

I still have the idea that was drummed into me as a child that you don't call it unless it's an emergency at which point they will race to your aid.

I have called 101 once but that was to make an appointment in order to put something on record.

I expect to be deeply disappointed by the reponse if I ever calll 999.

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1 hour ago, Great Guy said:

I've literally not phoned 999 for all my life. Then I've called it twice in two weeks...

Two weeks ago I was in my kitchen and I saw some dick walking down a row of parked cars trying the door handles of each of them :( then this morning I see someone trying to steal a bike while I'm walking to work :( 

Is it a bellend epidemic?

I think recently publicising the 9% success rate in solving crime may have been a mistake.

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Twice. First time years ago some nutter in town trying to stab people with a screwdriver. Went to court. Prob got a slap on the wrist.

Second time a few weeks ago. Some druggie scummer waving a axe around outside a supermarket in broad daylight and not in a "fun" way. Anyway just as I was about to be put through he put it away so I hung up (didn't want to have to ID some nutter who hangs around with a axe at my local supermarket). Few hours later police turn up at my old address wanting to know why I called. How the fuck they knew it god knows, they must have access to telephone companies databases.

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Once, for an ambulance. MIL fainted at dinner but not before one side of her face collapsed. I thought she had a stroke. Apparently she hadn't but the ambulance was with us within 3 minutes , (we are quite near an ambulance station, but I was impressed by their promptness.

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Never, but my wife did once. Our child was ill, she passed the phone over and they talked me through CPR. It was the beginning of my world falling apart, I was destroyed, I still am.

Our child should still be alive. The Dr involved was found guilty of misconduct by the GMC.

I can't describe the emotion involved when the paramedic walked into the room. I've seen the extreme good of the NHS and the extreme bad as well.

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1 minute ago, null; said:

Never, but my wife did once. Our child was ill, she passed the phone over and they talked me through CPR. It was the beginning of my world falling apart, I was destroyed, I still am.

Our child should still be alive. The Dr involved was found guilty of misconduct by the GMC.

I can't describe the emotion involved when the paramedic walked into the room. I've seen the extreme good of the NHS and the extreme bad as well.

I'm really sorry to hear that :(

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4 minutes ago, null; said:

Never, but my wife did once. Our child was ill, she passed the phone over and they talked me through CPR. It was the beginning of my world falling apart, I was destroyed, I still am.

Our child should still be alive. The Dr involved was found guilty of misconduct by the GMC.

I can't describe the emotion involved when the paramedic walked into the room. I've seen the extreme good of the NHS and the extreme bad as well.

Dreadful. My sympathies 

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2 minutes ago, gibbon said:

Twice. First time years ago some nutter in town trying to stab people with a screwdriver. Went to court. Prob got a slap on the wrist.

Second time a few weeks ago. Some druggie scummer waving a axe around outside a supermarket in broad daylight and not in a "fun" way. Anyway just as I was about to be put through he put it away so I hung up (didn't want to have to ID some nutter who hangs around with a axe at my local supermarket). Few hours later police turn up at my old address wanting to know why I called. How the fuck they knew it god knows, they must have access to telephone companies databases.

They do.  For a perfectly reasonable suspicion they thought that I had abandoned my car in a beach carpark on a stormy night in the middle of winter (mine was the only car in it, it was dark, and because of a known VWAG fault all my windows were down despite the cold and the weather) they were about to launch a huge search and rescue exercise.  Just before doing this they called me on my mobile, which they had obtained based upon nothing more than my car registration, to ask if I was ok.  I was fine and was being driven back to my car after eating dinner so managed not to feature on the next morning's news! 

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9 minutes ago, null; said:

Never, but my wife did once. Our child was ill, she passed the phone over and they talked me through CPR. It was the beginning of my world falling apart, I was destroyed, I still am.

Our child should still be alive. The Dr involved was found guilty of misconduct by the GMC.

I can't describe the emotion involved when the paramedic walked into the room. I've seen the extreme good of the NHS and the extreme bad as well.

 

So sorry @null;

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2 minutes ago, null; said:

Never, but my wife did once. Our child was ill, she passed the phone over and they talked me through CPR. It was the beginning of my world falling apart, I was destroyed, I still am.

Our child should still be alive. The Dr involved was found guilty of misconduct by the GMC.

I can't describe the emotion involved when the paramedic walked into the room. I've seen the extreme good of the NHS and the extreme bad as well.

 

:( There's nothing I can say that will help. Would just like to offer my condolences.

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