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UmBongo

Failed my "Equality and Diversity' e-Learning course 3 times today

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Oops! :$

Not so ideal when you work for the national health service. Perhaps this forum's un-PC content is subconsciously affecting me. xD

So I took the course, read through the text, took the assessment, failed, took it another 2 times and failed again. >:(

Because I failed it 3 x, I had to go through the text again. Fortunately scaped through it getting 12 out of 14 questions right. I think had I failed it a 6th time then my Manager could possibly consider sending me on an extended Equality and Diversity awareness course ! :D

FFS I'm pretty good at my job imo and that one hurdle of compulsary training kept tripping me up! Two days ago I sat a new 'Information Governance' e-learning course that now covers the GDPR regs and I passed that with a 100% score!!

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Think laterally; usually you can get two screens going so click through the text without reading it then open the questions in a new window.  Answer the bleedin' obvious ones anyway and then pick the rest out of the text.

I scored full marks for online Fire Safety and GDPR tests without reading the text and did both in less than twenty minutes each; some took an hour and a half to two hours.

Pretty much anything you actually need to know is basic commonsense and the rest of it is questions for the sake of it. 

You don't need to learn the colours of fire extinguishers if you can either read or look at the picture.

 

My favourite, though this was years ago, was a lengthy health and safety test that was in a spreadsheet, allowed you to change your answer, and had a running total at the top.

So split the screen so the running total is at the top and I didn't even read the questions, just A, B, C, D until the running total went up then onto the next one.

So I scored 100% in record time without either reading the text, the questions, or the answers :)

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My work has had some of these elearnings where the questions/answers were so obtuse no body could pass them, so the team I work in surreptitiously split up the task and worked out a set of answers that at least got us all through.

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One oil company I contracted at did lots of psychological tests on staff and applicants that they had to pass. Some bright spark decided the contractors should do them, we all failed miserably, mainly because we couldn't take them seriously.

They couldn't get rid of us without the place grinding to a halt so they got a top psychologist to study the results. Apparently contractors have a completely different mind set to staff, we could have told them that for nothing.

Edited by Option5

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6 minutes ago, Option5 said:

One oil company I contracted at did lots of psychological tests on staff and applicants that they had to pass. Some bright spark decided the contractors should do them, we all failed miserably, mainly because we couldn't take them seriously.

They couldn't get rid of us without the place grinding to a halt so they got a top psychologist to study the results. Apparently contractors have a completely different mind set to staff, we could have told them that for nothing.

We had similar, loads of tests.  Most of the back office people did really well and most of the salesmen were dire.

All it proved was what we already knew: salesmen required a whole different skillset to the report writing / number crunching back office. 

It really didn't matter if they couldn't pick the odd word out or work out the next number in a sequence; what mattered was that they were good with people and good at selling.

That was three expenses paid days in a top London hotel that was all fairly pointless.

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2 minutes ago, Option5 said:

One of the test was the Rorschach test, I just said "Naked woman" to all of them. He suggested I was either taking the piss or a sex maniac, I responded that I wasn't a sex maniac, he was, showing me all those dirty pictures. Miserable bastard threw me out, apparently when the scores came out I was one of the better ones.....................

:D

You genuinely did that? Ace!

I thought that just happened in sitcoms or books.  E.g. Henry Wilt when being fitted up for murder: "Even if I thought that it looked like a woman in a pool of blood I'm hardly going to say so am I?".

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6 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

:D

You genuinely did that? Ace!

I thought that just happened in sitcoms or books.  E.g. Henry Wilt when being fitted up for murder: "Even if I thought that it looked like a woman in a pool of blood I'm hardly going to say so am I?".

We all planned it beforehand, each of us gave stupid answers cause we found the whole thing laughable. That was my script, one of the guys would wax lyrically for about 10 minutes about every slide, The guy testing was foaming at the mouth by the end of the day xD

Wilt, good old Tom Sharpe.

Edited by Option5

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34 minutes ago, Option5 said:

One of the test was the Rorschach test, I just said "Naked woman" to all of them. He suggested I was either taking the piss or a sex maniac, I responded that I wasn't a sex maniac, he was, showing me all those dirty pictures. Miserable bastard threw me out, apparently when the scores came out I was one of the better ones.....................

Next time - Trump raw humping Hilary in a gimp suit.

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1 minute ago, Cunning Plan said:

It as a lot bloody easier when they were actually different colours.

EU standard, colours was British standard, same with electrical wiring British red, black, green EU brown, blue green/yellow

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1 minute ago, Option5 said:

EU standard, colours was British standard, same with electrical wiring British red, black, green EU brown, blue green/yellow

Does that mean all our fire extinguishers will fail to work after Brexit?

Surprised they haven't mentioned it yet (or is that being saved for next week?)

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I forget the detail but one other series of courses I was sent on was preceded by all managers filling in a personality test to see if you were red, blue, green yellow which all meant something different rather than better or worse. 

Now obviously you don't answer entirely honestly, e.g. "If there is an important piece of work to be done would you? a) stay late to do it or b) go home" the you are going to answer (a), but you present a slightly polished version of yourself rather than pretending that you're James Bond.  

The test had multiple similar questions and went on and on so it was going to catch out inconsistencies / lies but everybody's was accepted apart from one of the operations managers whose was returned as being "non-human" :D

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image.png.0b312a17cc594fad8fcc824f5648303e.png

1 hour ago, Frank Hovis said:

I forget the detail but one other series of courses I was sent on was preceded by all managers filling in a personality test to see if you were red, blue, green yellow which all meant something different rather than better or worse. 

Now obviously you don't answer entirely honestly, e.g. "If there is an important piece of work to be done would you? a) stay late to do it or b) go home" the you are going to answer (a), but you present a slightly polished version of yourself rather than pretending that you're James Bond.  

The test had multiple similar questions and went on and on so it was going to catch out inconsistencies / lies but everybody's was accepted apart from one of the operations managers whose was returned as being "non-human" :D

we had this at work, i opted out by being elsewhere.

somehow all the reds got laid off, reds were beligerent bastards with strong views and no nonsense approach. they often upset the snowflakes.

Ive somehow managed to avoid nearly 100% of office politics and other such BS for nearly 10 years now, despite the fact that im an anti social bastard and would throw them under the bus literally just for fun. Perhaps its because i keep my head down and keep taking the money.

Edited by leonardratso

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Just part of the modern day BS at work. I had to do one at a interview which formed the discussion point of the entirety of the second interview. I was offered 10k more than the top end of the advertised salary in the end but still didn't take the job, got a feel for the BS I'd have to put up with and decided to stay with the devil I knew where I avoid this crap.

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7 hours ago, Option5 said:

One of the test was the Rorschach test, I just said "Naked woman" to all of them. He suggested I was either taking the piss or a sex maniac, I responded that I wasn't a sex maniac, he was, showing me all those dirty pictures. Miserable bastard threw me out, apparently when the scores came out I was one of the better ones.....................

I've always wanted to sit one of these tests so I can copy what astronaut Pete Conrad did:

https://www.spaceanswers.com/space-exploration/heroes-of-space-pete-conrad/

From the above link:

"On being shown a blank card by psychologists, he stared briefly before telling them: “It’s upside down.” He also presented his stool sample in a red-ribboned gift box and described a sexual account in the greatest of detail when presented with an Rorschach inkblot test."

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Failed an equality test as a potential London fireman in 1988, i said, repeatedly, that my understanding of equal opportunities, was that everyone was capable of being a cunt, in not so many words. Silence all round. 

There was a Diane Abbot looky likey on the panel.

Did not get job.

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