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ccc

Wanted down under

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43 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

I watch it for a laugh occasionally. It's complete fucking bollocks and I say that as someone who's spent 10 years or so in Australia.

There are so many factors that aren't taken into account that it renders the show as very basic entertainment and nothing more. I could reel off dozens of reasons why a move to Australia isn't necessarily a good thing for everyone but I'll spare you all such tedium, apart from to say that 'the grass is greener' arguement really doesn't stack up on this one. The grass in Australia tends to be pretty coarse, highly flammable and crawling with shit that wants to bite you.

I think I've mentioned it on here before, the daughter of one of my customers works on this program. Apparently the (unpublished) return rate is somewhere in the region of 80 - 90%.

It's clear when you watch it that some of these people have no idea what they are getting themselves into...or maybe they do and are just blagging a free holiday. 

 

My parents currently live there. I've been once.

It's certainly unique.

I watched a program on Oz once.

The grass may greener but it has some really fucking poisonous snakes in it.

 

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10 minutes ago, spygirl said:

I watched a program on Oz once.

The grass may greener but it has some really fucking poisonous snakes in it.

 

The grass is often greener because it's growing on a pile of shit

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It is just dreamland voyeurism.   Sure, they get a few idiot dreamers that think that the future can be made better by physically moving away from the present (it can't), but the main purpose of the programme is to sucker thousands of voyeurs into watching the travails of the idiots.

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Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

Perth

Ok when I had a very good Oil sector job, otherwise very expensive. 

Social circles almost entirely made up of expats - Iranians, a few British, an American but no aussies. 

Boring 

Too hot

House build quality appalling - glasshouses with a tin roof - frreze in winter, boil in summer

Corrupt - basically got ripped off for our deposit when leaving Oz - Perth . In contrast when our landlord tried to rip us off in the Uk DPS were brilliant (landlord got nothing.

It's interesting as Perth seems to be very marmite with a lot of people. I've met a few that have loved it but I've also met plenty who have detested it with the fire of a thousand suns (I'm in this category).

One abiding memory for me was the day we left. After piling into the car we drove away from our old house and I had one last look in the wing mirror...at which point I spotted a local (not quite a neighbour but nearly) emerge from behind the tree where he'd been hiding until we left, climb on to our porch and proceed to pinch all of our nice pot plants and other features that were still there. 

Debated reversing back and calling him all of the cunts under the sun (and he really was a cunt, straight-up) but by that point I just wanted to be as far away from there as possible.

"Neeeighbours, everybody needs good neeeighbours...."

:wanker:

Edited by Sgt Hartman

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Posted (edited)

Cant believe I'm reading a dosbods thread about settling in another country without the most important factor of all being discussed - the quality of the local fanny (or dick, for the ladies ...)

Edited by goldbug9999

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22 minutes ago, dgul said:

It is just dreamland voyeurism.   Sure, they get a few idiot dreamers that think that the future can be made better by physically moving away from the present (it can't), but the main purpose of the programme is to sucker thousands of voyeurs into watching the travails of the idiots.

You've gone and spolit it now!

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3 minutes ago, goldbug9999 said:

Cant believe I'm reading a dosbods thread about settling in another country without the most important factor of all being discussed - the quality of the local fanny (or dick, for the ladies ...)

Top notch and very willing! (In reply to your pre-edited post).

 

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As an Australian (ex-Brit) I think that neither extreme is true - Oz is neither paradise nor hell.  Most of the people that come a cropper when they emigrate do so because they think it will be heaven without them doing anything different than what they did in the UK.

Pluses:

  • It is much easier to be healthy in Oz IF you live in the right place.  I lived in Sydney for a while next to a national park, and could run every morning and swim in the sea every afternoon for free, but my commute to work was still under an hour.  I lost over 2 stone in six months without even trying
  • Events for family and friends can be a lot cheaper.  I used to go to the footy (Aussie rules) after work to see top league teams for 12 dollars, with 3 dollars for the tram home in Melbourne.  Compare that to the costly nightmare of seeing a game in London
  • Weather - if you live in the SE or Tassie - is nice for much more of the year
  • A more open conversation about stuff that is shit for society, such as mass muslim presence or african immigration.  Much less of both than the UK.  I think Oz will turn pretty quick once Europe is in flames, and ban migration from muslim/african countries, which is a major reason I am choosing to live there long term; my kids won't be being blown up in a civil war
  • Many things are free in Australia that chip away at the finances in the UK.  Example - parking for public parks.  Very very few beaches have any parking charges.  Many parks have free barbecues that anyone can use (gas included)
  • Prostitution is legal in many states (re the DOSBODS thread and how many young men will never have the chance of sex with a good looking partner now in the UK)
  • That said, Australian girls seem more 'normal' than UK girls.  The male/female ratio is still skewed so that women have to make an effort
  • Divorce laws have changed to probably treat the man the fairest of all western nations.  The courts start with an assumption of 50% asset split and 50% custody split, and maintenance is capped
  • Housing quality is shit for anything built after 1950 - thin walls, crap roofs, heatboxes than demand huge energy to heat/cool.  It's crazy.
  • Coffee is the best in the world

Cons:

  • If you live in Perth/Brisvegas/Darwin etc you're basically stuck in the aircon for 75% of the year 
  • Food is more expensive and often lower quality until you learn the good suppliers.  
  • Corruption in politics is pretty rampant.  It's a banana republic in many parts
  • It's a looong way back to europe if you have sick parents.
  • If you live in the wrong place, commuting can be hell and expensive
  • AUD is probably on a downwards trend
  • Oz is due a major recession - in fact, long overdue

Anyway, I still love it and think it knocks modern day Britain into a cocked hat.  

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39 minutes ago, wherebee said:

As an Australian (ex-Brit) I think that neither extreme is true - Oz is neither paradise nor hell.  Most of the people that come a cropper when they emigrate do so because they think it will be heaven without them doing anything different than what they did in the UK.

Pluses:

  • It is much easier to be healthy in Oz IF you live in the right place.  I lived in Sydney for a while next to a national park, and could run every morning and swim in the sea every afternoon for free, but my commute to work was still under an hour.  I lost over 2 stone in six months without even trying
  • Events for family and friends can be a lot cheaper.  I used to go to the footy (Aussie rules) after work to see top league teams for 12 dollars, with 3 dollars for the tram home in Melbourne.  Compare that to the costly nightmare of seeing a game in London
  • Weather - if you live in the SE or Tassie - is nice for much more of the year
  • A more open conversation about stuff that is shit for society, such as mass muslim presence or african immigration.  Much less of both than the UK.  I think Oz will turn pretty quick once Europe is in flames, and ban migration from muslim/african countries, which is a major reason I am choosing to live there long term; my kids won't be being blown up in a civil war
  • Many things are free in Australia that chip away at the finances in the UK.  Example - parking for public parks.  Very very few beaches have any parking charges.  Many parks have free barbecues that anyone can use (gas included)
  • Prostitution is legal in many states (re the DOSBODS thread and how many young men will never have the chance of sex with a good looking partner now in the UK)
  • That said, Australian girls seem more 'normal' than UK girls.  The male/female ratio is still skewed so that women have to make an effort
  • Divorce laws have changed to probably treat the man the fairest of all western nations.  The courts start with an assumption of 50% asset split and 50% custody split, and maintenance is capped
  • Housing quality is shit for anything built after 1950 - thin walls, crap roofs, heatboxes than demand huge energy to heat/cool.  It's crazy.
  • Coffee is the best in the world

Cons:

  • If you live in Perth/Brisvegas/Darwin etc you're basically stuck in the aircon for 75% of the year 
  • Food is more expensive and often lower quality until you learn the good suppliers.  
  • Corruption in politics is pretty rampant.  It's a banana republic in many parts
  • It's a looong way back to europe if you have sick parents.
  • If you live in the wrong place, commuting can be hell and expensive
  • AUD is probably on a downwards trend
  • Oz is due a major recession - in fact, long overdue

Anyway, I still love it and think it knocks modern day Britain into a cocked hat.  

If we move back it will be Melbourne.

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52 minutes ago, wherebee said:

  it knocks modern day Britain into a cocked hat.  

Brisvegas. :D

Haven't heard that for a while.

I think the quoted can be true but it massively depends where you are and what you're earning. Similar to here really. You've got just as much chance of ending up in Bogansville there as Chavtropolis here.

Each state is a bit like a separate country in a way and each city has it's own characteristics. Perth was stultifying to me and full of cunts, Sydney - beautiful but obscenely expensive. Brisbane was a bit boring but OK and Tasmania was the Aussie equivalent of the far Scottish Highlands. Not done Canberra or Victoria yet but I hear good things.

There's quite a mix. Some good, some bad.

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One bad thing about Australia is that it takes days to drive somewhere. In the UK you can drive from London and be in the Scottish Higlands within a day. If you want to drive from Sydney to Ayers Rock it's a case of a few days drive.

I also think staying in a beautiful part of the world can get boring after a while... 

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39 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Brisvegas. :D

Haven't heard that for a while.

I think the quoted can be true but it massively depends where you are and what you're earning. Similar to here really. You've got just as much chance of ending up in Bogansville there as Chavtropolis here.

Each state is a bit like a separate country in a way and each city has it's own characteristics. Perth was stultifying to me and full of cunts, Sydney - beautiful but obscenely expensive. Brisbane was a bit boring but OK and Tasmania was the Aussie equivalent of the far Scottish Highlands. Not done Canberra or Victoria yet but I hear good things.

There's quite a mix. Some good, some bad.

Adelaide is quite nice and affordable - because there are no jobs. 

 

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4 hours ago, ccc said:

Anyone ever seen this ? Family gets week to go over to OZ or NZ to try out if the move will be good for them. 

I know people make moves for all different reasons and that's fine. But the standard ones given on this show are just nonsense.

(1) More time to spend with the family 

How does that work ? Do people only work 7 hours a week in OZ or something ? xD

Today's show had them "experiencing" the OZ lifestyle by having a day out at an aquarium. It apparently brought home how little they do this stuff in the UK and so a move would be great. What the fuck ! They are on holiday ffs. You can do this stuff in the UK as well.....

(2) The outdoor lifestyle would be so much better.

Yes the UK weather can be piss. However we don't generally have to contend with annual extreme heat events, cyclones, bushfires or dust storms.

The UK is a great place for outdoor stuff. People come here from all around the world to do it ffs.

If someone is too lazy to do outdoor stuff in the UK with their kids then they're going to be exactly the same in OZ.

 

In reality I think most are just bored with their lives in the UK - and want to move somewhere else that will seem exciting for a few years before they get bored of that too. Because they have boring lives full stop. 

Which is fair enough - but none of these cunts ever admit it. 

Anyway. Rant over. :Jumping:

It's not really a programme providing in-depth analylsis of the relative merits of living in UK, Oz or NZ.

It's just TV  lightweight 'entertainment'.

Just one reason I don't bother with TV.

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3 hours ago, spunko2010 said:

Good rule of thumb: By the time anything is being featured on daytime TV, the boat has long since sailed.

Very good point. 

2 hours ago, Banned said:

If this topic came up in the middle of February after a long cold winter id imagine slightly different responses.

You've clearly never spent winter in Melbourne or a few other Oz locations. Not hugely different from here. 

2 hours ago, goldbug9999 said:

Cant believe I'm reading a dosbods thread about settling in another country without the most important factor of all being discussed - the quality of the local fanny (or dick, for the ladies ...)

Total sluts. No offence to any Aussie burds. It's just true. A compliment from me if anything. 

Blokes ? We are all sluts so pretty pointless question. xD

1 hour ago, NewryH said:

The woman this morning was quite fit as well.

Aye - cried a hell of a lot though. Cracking body on her. 

6 minutes ago, Happy Renting said:

It's not really a programme providing in-depth analylsis of the relative merits of living in UK, Oz or NZ.

It's just TV  lightweight 'entertainment'.

Just one reason I don't bother with TV.

You've gone and ruined it for me now you cunt !! >:(

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I lived in Brisbane for 2 years and generally Monday to Friday is no different to being in Scotland. The weather is better, but it makes no difference during the week as it's dark at 19.15

Fortunately I got a house with a big pool so for 7 months of each year the weekends did feel like being on holiday.

The only things I miss are the weather (weekends only), and weirdly the chippies, which I found to be much better than here.

Went to Sydney, hated it and couldn't wait to get back to Brisbane.

The best bit about my 2 years in Brisbane was the 10 days I spent in Fiji :D

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2 hours ago, choochoo said:

The best bit about my 2 years in Brisbane was the 10 days I spent in Fiji :D

I hear its good there, i went to the Cook Islands and got a bout of food poison i thought i was going to die from, so the day later i skipped flight back to Fiji followed by the flight to Hawaii and went straight to LA. ... Live in learn is best way to describe this decision!

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I used to watch this!

The first series was all about how much house you could get in comparison to the UK.

The second series was all about how the estate agents were undervaluing their UK homes.

The third series was all about how expensive houses were over there in comparison to the UK.

Hilarious, best car crash TV in years.

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4 minutes ago, OurDayWillCome said:

I used to watch this!

The first series was all about how much house you could get in comparison to the UK.

The second series was all about how the estate agents were undervaluing their UK homes.

The third series was all about how expensive houses were over there in comparison to the UK.

Hilarious, best car crash TV in years.

It's rather interesting that nearly always the EA's value less than they expect. 

In homes under the hammer it's the complete opposite. 

Must be told different things by the producers. Only reason I can think of for them to be the complete opposite.

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8 hours ago, Kurt Barlow said:

Having lived in both Countries me and Mrs B often watch these programs as there is so little decent comedy on these days. 

More time to spend with family - Well in Oz we got 4 weeks annual leave each year. In UK I get 6 and Mrs B gets 5. Employers here are open to allowing you to buy extra leave if needed. In OZ the answer is usually fuck off. 

Commute times roughly the same. 

On the plus side for Oz they get a few extra days public holidays like Australia day where you can go and get pissed up in a park, wave the Ozzie flag and shout abuse at darkies. 

 

The Outdoor Lifestyle is so much better

Yes - if you can tolerate 40 degree plus heat and are wary of all the things that can kill you which means wearing thick trousers and boots if you want to go walking in the countryside. 

Most of the Countryside looks like shit compared to the UK. Ok part of the east coast of OZ and SW foresty but the rest is just semi desert scrubland.  

In the UK we have castles, stately homes, industrial heritage sites. In Oz - well there is very little in terms of History other than some place the Aboriginals used to meet up. 

 

 

they have something like 7 of the most venoumouse snakes in the world,sevral of the worlds most evil spiders big fking lizards that will eat you realy evil jellyfish,big fk off fish that will eat you after the jelly fish have got bored,the big fk off lizard things go in the seas and rivers btw.and to top it all the worlds only poisness mamal and shit larger and its fking hot,very hot....whats not to like.

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Posted (edited)
24 minutes ago, stokiescum said:

they have something like 7 of the most venoumouse snakes in the world,sevral of the worlds most evil spiders big fking lizards that will eat you realy evil jellyfish,big fk off fish that will eat you after the jelly fish have got bored,the big fk off lizard things go in the seas and rivers btw.and to top it all the worlds only poisness mamal and shit larger and its fking hot,very hot....whats not to like.

They do have topless waitresses in some bars in Cairns, however

QLD also has one of the nicest places I found in mainland Oz, Chillagoe, and one of the most awful, Coen.

Edited by Hopeful

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Having arachnophobia, I would never move to Oz. The people on this show are clearly after a free trip. I love the way they analyse the costs between the UK and Oz/Nz "green peppers are 20p more expensive, we can't move here".

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