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This research also suggests that boys and girls are often harmed by gender stereotypes.

Those who felt boys should be tough and girls should have nice clothes were least happy with life.
 

The report also suggests happy family relationships are the biggest positive influence on children's wellbeing.
=-------------

So boys should have nice clothes? And girls should be tough?
And if the family has broken down to this point then society is indeed fucked.

I did watch something on VD on BBC2 this morning. An interview with a woman whose child committed suicide after coming out at school to someone. He was 9. 
She was american and it'd happened very recently I think. I didn't watch much of it. 

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"They" of course being the idiots' collective that is the So-Called BBC.

Relegated to the foot of the article is the actual analysis:
 

Quote

 

The NSPCC says common reasons for self-harming include:

  • depression
  • bullying
  • pressure at school
  • emotional abuse
  • grieving
  • having relationship problems with family or friends


 

These are as they ever were amongst kids and will be worsened from when I was at school by social media (now you can bully people remotely too!), being different (there's your gender tickbox BBC), and for the intelligent ones the lack of a clear future path leading to depression as you highlight One Percent.

My punt for the disparity between girls and boys self-harming is that bullying of boys often takes a physical form so you're not going to be escaping it by giving yourself more physical pain; bullying of girls is more psychological so a bit of physical pain is a distraction from it rather than more of the same.

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1 minute ago, sarahbell said:

This research also suggests that boys and girls are often harmed by gender stereotypes.

Those who felt boys should be tough and girls should have nice clothes were least happy with life.
 

The report also suggests happy family relationships are the biggest positive influence on children's wellbeing.
=-------------

So boys should have nice clothes? And girls should be tough?
And if the family has broken down to this point then society is indeed fucked.

I did watch something on VD on BBC2 this morning. An interview with a woman whose child committed suicide after coming out at school to someone. He was 9. 
She was american and it'd happened very recently I think. I didn't watch much of it. 

I think (god I used to be a feminist) that we need gender roles.  Maybe not the ones we have and this is nothing about being gay/not being gay which is a completely different kettle of fish.  But, you need to know your place in the world, we need rules and norms. It’s like bringing up kids, they need to know what the boundaries are. 

Im not sure if I’ve explained myself very well but I do feel that many kids are floundering around looking for an identity in their formative years and their place in the world. Society needs to help with this by offering structure 

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6 minutes ago, One percent said:

I don’t think we have discussed this one.  

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-45329030

Nearly a quarter of 14-year-old girls in the UK said they had self-harmed, a report suggests.

A survey of 11,000 children found 22% of the girls and 9% of the boys said they had hurt themselves on purpose in the year prior to the questionnaire.

Rates of self-harm were worst (46%) among those who were attracted to people of the same or both genders.

 

I think they are missing the point with the causes. They are pinning it here on gender identity and being gay.  I don’t know, but I suspect that there hasn’t really been an issue of this in the gay community previously. Anyhow, I see the main reason for this is that the establishment have stolen kids future. 

  1. The stupid cost of HE
  2. the lack of jobs for the young
  3. the costvof housing
  4. the madness around gender fluidity, which if you are young might unduly influence you

all these together means that a young person hasn’t really got a place in the world or a stake in society. They have little to plan for and probably feel trapped and with no plan to get out. I’ve mentioned my own offspring who, despite both having very good jobs are still at home due to stupid costs. They also don’t seem to be interested in forming long term relationships. I put this down to firstly, neither do their mates and secondly, what would be the point?  Where and how would they bring up a family, other than to sacrifice their own futures by becoming bennie seekers. 

My analysis?  The country is fubared. Completely. 

Define "deliberately".

Did the 9% of boys that "hurt themselves deliberately" hurt themselves with excessive wanking? 

Oh alright, a serious answer. I reckon it's social networks that are depressing the poor little sods. (as well as the stuff 1% mentioned for those mature enough to be looking ahead). In general at that age they don't have enough DGAF in them to cope.

 

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2 minutes ago, One percent said:

I think (god I used to be a feminist) that we need gender roles.  Maybe not the ones we have and this is nothing about being gay/not being gay which is a completely different kettle of fish.  But, you need to know your place in the world, we need rules and norms. It’s like bringing up kids, they need to know what the boundaries are. 

Im not sure if I’ve explained myself very well but I do feel that many kids are floundering around looking for an identity in their formative years and their place in the world. Society needs to help with this by offering structure 

Feminism as was wanted equal opportunity for women in careers and education, equal treatment under the law, and freedom from sexual harrassment (in its proper sense, not as in somebody saying "you look nice today").

I'd say that battle has been pretty much won because when I read the grievances ("male privilege") on mumsnet these days it sounds like incredibly petty whinges with the disparity coming from size and strength rather than sex / gender (which are of course the same things :P) and could equally in the vast majority of cases be the complaint of a 5'2" skinny bloke with a high pitched voice (people don't listen to me, I feel uncomfortable walking home by myself after dark, I feel intimdated when walking past a pub and several blokes are drinking outside and one of them makes a comment).

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1 minute ago, Frank Hovis said:

Feminism as was wanted equal opportunity for women in careers and education, equal treatment under the law, and freedom from sexual harrassment (in its proper sense, not as in somebody saying "you look nice today").

I'd say that battle has been pretty much won because when I read the grievances ("male privilege") on mumsnet these days it sounds like incredibly petty whinges with the disparity coming from size and strength rather than sex / gender (which are of course the same things :P) and could equally in the vast majority of cases be the complaint of a 5'2" skinny bloke with a high pitched voice (people don't listen to me, I feel uncomfortable walking home by myself after dark, I feel intimdated when walking past a pub and several blokes are drinking outside and one of them makes a comment).

xD they do say Frank, that for women, having it all means doing it all.  I can attest to that. Probably down to a shitty choice of life partner tbh though more than feminism. o.O

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3 minutes ago, One percent said:

xD they do say Frank, that for women, having it all means doing it all.  I can attest to that. Probably down to a shitty choice of life partner tbh though more than feminism. o.O

Yes, nobody can have it all.

I decided to totally blast work in my 30s working all hours, typical six day week, usually three days a week in hotels because I wanted to put myself into the financial position where I could retire very early.  For several years one midweek day each week comprised getting up at 4am to work in Switz for the day and then back at 9pm, then at my desk for 8am the next morning or down to London for 9am.  I don't see how you can combine that with being a mother to young children.

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Posted (edited)

I'd never even heard of the concept of self harming until I was in my early 20's. It would never have occured to me to do it, even as someone who suffered from panic attacks from the age of 15 or so.

I think if you tell kids about it, more are going to try it. Plus I think you're seen as boring these days if you're a cis-gendered person without some kind of mental disorder diagnosis.

Edited by JoeDavola

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11 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

Yes, nobody can have it all.

I decided to totally blast work in my 30s working all hours, typical six day week, usually three days a week in hotels because I wanted to put myself into the financial position where I could retire very early.  For several years one midweek day each week comprised getting up at 4am to work in Switz for the day and then back at 9pm, then at my desk for 8am the next morning or down to London for 9am.  I don't see how you can combine that with being a mother to young children.

No you can’t Frank.  Without taking this too personal, my issue (and why I made the comment about having it all) was that I have essentially been a single parent, doing everything from bringing money in, to all the household chores, cooking, cleaning, childcare arrangements, decorating, gardening, organising. Make your choices etc...  in hindsight though..  

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3 minutes ago, dgul said:

Children, like adults, are pretty unimaginative.  If the press is going on about 'self-harm' then they'll experiment with self-harming.

A friend's daughter had confusing thoughts.  So they went to the school psycho (the rapist).  Questions then come, machine-gun fashion.  Do you have scary thoughts?  Are you suicidal?  Do you self-harm?  Would life be better if your parents were dead?  Do you like girls rather than boys?  Do you want to be a boy?  etc, etc.  Soon after the meeting she started self-harming.  She's now decided she's a lesbian and her best friend is a heshe.  In the olden days there was no psychotherapist (just the rapist PE and swimming coaches) -- we'd have just continued being confused for a few years, then realised that fucking and a bit of partying solves most problems and was pretty easy once you've left home.

Good post. I agree, the rise in counsellors and therapy has done tremendous harm.  I know of one person who had trained to be a counsellor as a mature student. Her own m3ntalmhealth leaves a lot to be desired....   

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 I've lost count of the amount of female friends and colleagues who moan about how their partners don't pull their weight around the house when they both work full time. Don't do all the bloody housework and be a martyr. Mr Dipsy and I share the chores according to our skills sets and it works well (he doesn't cook as we would live on a rotation of three meals - curry, chilli and spag Bol and I don't iron as I'm rubbish at it). 

14 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:
23 minutes ago, One percent said:

 

Yes, nobody can have it all.

I decided to totally blast work in my 30s working all hours, typical six day week, usually three days a week in hotels because I wanted to put myself into the financial position where I could retire very early.  For several years one midweek day each week comprised getting up at 4am to work in Switz for the day and then back at 9pm, then at my desk for 8am the next morning or down to London for 9am.  I don't see how you can combine that with being a mother to young ch

Exactly and if as a man you were doing those sorts of hours then you wouldn't be having it all either, good for the finances not necessarily so for family relationships.

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When I was mid teens, loads of girls and some boys self harmed. I doubt the rate has changed dramatically in a hundred years. Typical “something must be done” bullshit; no evidence that all the social engineering bollocks has improved anything so far, so obviously we need ten times as much.

Standard fucking horseshit.

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2 minutes ago, Dipsy said:

 I've lost count of the amount of female friends and colleagues who moan about how their partners don't pull their weight around the house when they both work full time. Don't do all the bloody housework and be a martyr. Mr Dipsy and I share the chores according to our skills sets and it works well (he doesn't cook as we would live on a rotation of three meals - curry, chilli and spag Bol and I don't iron as I'm rubbish at it). 

Exactly and if as a man you were doing those sorts of hours then you wouldn't be having it all either, good for the finances not necessarily so for family relationships.

👍 out of reps. I’ll take this to the stealth one day 

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Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, One percent said:

No you can’t Frank.  Without taking this too personal, my issue (and why I made the comment about having it all) was that I have essentially been a single parent, doing everything from bringing money in, to all the household chores, cooking, cleaning, childcare arrangements, decorating, gardening, organising. Make your choices etc...  in hindsight though..  

Me too. I’m not sure that makes me a woman though. 

In truth I essentially neglect the garden completely now, even though that’s my favourite household responsibility.

Edited by Hail the Tripod

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6 minutes ago, Hail the Tripod said:

When I was mid teens, loads of girls and some boys self harmed. I doubt the rate has changed dramatically in a hundred years. Typical “something must be done” bullshit; no evidence that all the social engineering bollocks has improved anything so far, so obviously we need ten times as much.

Standard fucking horseshit.

First time I encountered it was late eighties, daughter of an army family, lots of school/country moves.

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5 minutes ago, Dipsy said:

 

Exactly and if as a man you were doing those sorts of hours then you wouldn't be having it all either, good for the finances not necessarily so for family relationships.

I didn't, on the basis that you can't.  It was a conscious choice to exchange time for money for a limited time.  I left after ten years after three people at the same company in similar roles but who had been doing it for twenty years rather than ten died, or in one case had a massive stroke rather than dying, within six months.  Very rich and very dead.

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3 hours ago, Hail the Tripod said:

When I was mid teens, loads of girls and some boys self harmed. I doubt the rate has changed dramatically in a hundred years. Typical “something must be done” bullshit; no evidence that all the social engineering bollocks has improved anything so far, so obviously we need ten times as much.

Standard fucking horseshit.

Agree was common in the early 00s. I did because I was depressed and hated myself. from what i remember at least 10% of us did (all girls school). Still do v occasionally if I am feeling especially down or stressed.

I think teenangers will always have angst but there is also social contagion of this type of behaviour.

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Posted (edited)

Quelle surprise.

A fucking charidee behind the survey.

Will be calling out for more money to deal with the "problem" pay their bloated salaries and keep them in the luxury they are used to.

Wonder what counts as self-harm nowadays? Disliking one of your own posts?

 

.

Edited by Fischer

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I'd be interested in seeing happiness rates among social media users versus those who don't use social media. I bet it's like night and day. 

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