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wherebee

Turning into a grumpy old man

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I THINK we on DOSBODS are largely like Richard Wilson's character in one foot in the grave, constantly pissed off with how stupid other people are and increasingly not caring about saying so.  

So, this thread is a chance to tell the world about the most grumpy git moves you have done in public with no shame.  I'll start with two from my youth:

 

1: Being on top of Devil's Dyke on a beautiful summers day and getting incensed by the indian/pakistani family dropping ice cream wrappers and bottles all over the place.  I went over and tore them off a strip.  They pretended to not speak any english - I called them a bunch of lying bastards and forced them by  pointing and loud ranting to pick up all the litter and put it in the Bins (which were only about 20 feet away).  Yes, they did speak english.

2: On an early morning train (very very early) where a 20 something girl was disturbing everyone's attempts to doze by telling her friend loudly by mobile exactly what Steve did to her round the back of the club at the weekend.  I reach over and closed her fliptop phone in her hand, and just said "I think you've talked enough, don't you?".  She sat there fuming for the rest of the journey whilst I had a sleep.

 

So - come on then you lot.  I KNOW you've all done worse.

 

Edited by wherebee

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I seem to be going the other way - I'm far more of a live and let live mentality than I used to be. Although I should say that I used to be one of the most intolerant people you could meet.

But my increased tolerance is only of other people's views because the older I get the more I realise that everyone's opinions are valid when you understand that they are formed by that persons unique beliefs, experiences, hopes and fears, and that just because it seems illogical to me does not mean that it's entirely logical from that persons perspective.

Stuff like chucking litter down still winds me up though - that's just being a cock for the sake of it.

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4 minutes ago, Fully Detached said:

But my increased tolerance is only of other people's views because the older I get the more I realise that everyone's opinions are valid when you understand that they are formed by that persons unique beliefs, experiences, hopes and fears, and that just because it seems illogical to me does not mean that it's entirely logical from that persons perspective.

Fuck off and stop spouting leftie bollocks.

Twat.


 

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1 minute ago, Fully Detached said:

Oh, wait. I understand why you might have that opinion of me, based on your beliefs, experiences, hopes and fears.

Now fuck off :)

Anyone that has an avatar of them dangling a toddler over a mantrap is suspicious in my book.


 

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2 hours ago, wherebee said:

 

 

1: Being on top of Devil's Dyke on a beautiful summers day and getting incensed by the indian/pakistani family dropping ice cream wrappers and bottles all over the place.  I went over and tore them off a strip.  They pretended to not speak any english - I called them a bunch of lying bastards and forced them by  pointing and loud ranting to pick up all the litter and put it in the Bins (which were only about 20 feet away).  Yes, they did speak english.

 

 

Not just here then.

We've got a lovely lake quite near us where we take the kids on the weekend. Unfortunately half of Prestons cultural enrichers decide to do the same thing.

We know the guy who operates the slides etc, down there quite well and he's absolutely sick to the tits of them making a fucking nuisance of themselves. Everything from mounds of litter left behind, barbecues scorching picnic tables and, not being content with the car park, driving fleets of Zafiras over the park itself to get to where they want to. They're a total pain in the arse and the 'no spekka ingrish' always comes out when he's dishing out a bollocking to some burka-clad womble.

Wankers.

Anyway, I think I've reached the stage where I generally assume that the majority of people I share this island with are mannerless, obnoxious, self-centred twats (present company excluded, naturally) and this saves me from being too grumpy whenever I encounter one of the above as I almost expect it.

The one thing that does drive me absolutely bugfuck however is dog crap. I have gone the sort of apeshit at people that makes both feet leave the ground at once if I catch them letting their dogs shit on the pavement. It's usually prefaced with "ON WHAT FUCKING PLANET DO YOU THINK THAT'S ACCEPTABLE!!!??" Before unleashing a bit of a tirade if said jobbie isn't picked up.

Also people talking in cinemas, I haven't returned to one since going mental at a pair of fuckwits who chuntered the whole way through a film. I bollocked them for most of the end credits and threatened to shove their pick 'n' mix up their arses. 

Mrs Hartman thought I overreacted.

I don't. 

 

 

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Yep, tore a strip off a couple of bored teenagers who were consistently chatting and mucking about next to me in the cinema. To be honest the film was over their heads and they were bored. They left after my muttered tirade.

Also told small child to stop running around a busy cafe whilst her useless parents smiled indulgently at her. They gave me the evils so I pointed out there was a perfectly good park a couple of minutes walk away where child wouldn't get burnt with a hot drink. As they left I could hear them muttering about me. It's just a general lack of courtesy, consideration an plain common sense that boils my piss.

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Just bought a new vehicle. I know, totally irrational and worse still, it's a diesel

I went to do the paperwork this afternoon and the registration I had been allocated was

**17 CNT

Which seemed highly appropriate and, if it wasn't a liveried business vehicle, it would be a registration that would delight me.

 

Needless to say, I changed it.

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2 hours ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Not just here then.

We've got a lovely lake quite near us where we take the kids on the weekend. Unfortunately half of Prestons cultural enrichers decide to do the same thing.

We know the guy who operates the slides etc, down there quite well and he's absolutely sick to the tits of them making a fucking nuisance of themselves. Everything from mounds of litter left behind, barbecues scorching picnic tables and, not being content with the car park, driving fleets of Zafiras over the park itself to get to where they want to. They're a total pain in the arse and the 'no spekka ingrish' always comes out when he's dishing out a bollocking to some burka-clad womble.

Wankers.

Anyway, I think I've reached the stage where I generally assume that the majority of people I share this island with are mannerless, obnoxious, self-centred twats (present company excluded, naturally) and this saves me from being too grumpy whenever I encounter one of the above as I almost expect it.

The one thing that does drive me absolutely bugfuck however is dog crap. I have gone the sort of apeshit at people that makes both feet leave the ground at once if I catch them letting their dogs shit on the pavement. It's usually prefaced with "ON WHAT FUCKING PLANET DO YOU THINK THAT'S ACCEPTABLE!!!??" Before unleashing a bit of a tirade if said jobbie isn't picked up.

Also people talking in cinemas, I haven't returned to one since going mental at a pair of fuckwits who chuntered the whole way through a film. I bollocked them for most of the end credits and threatened to shove their pick 'n' mix up their arses. 

Mrs Hartman thought I overreacted.

I don't. 

 

 

I like your style. I fucking can't stand dog shit - there's loads of selfish old bastard dog walkers around here. There's a lovely common area behind the house and it's ideal for a run, leads up to a playing field where you get a good view over bits of south manc and can see the Beetham Tower in the far far distance ... except you can't because there's loads of fucking coffin dodgers standing around chunnering whilst their shit machines drop all over the field. Utter cunts.

As to talking in the cinema - yeah, that's a real pisser with me too. When younger I used to take sweets into the cinema , I found peanut M+Ms were nice and also amazingly aerodynamic. I used to just chuck them at people talking. Irritating twats. Maybe should start that up again.

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When I get off the train at night, TfL in their ultimate wisdom have decided to put two swipe points for oysters next ten each other. Not across the exit by side by side. Anyhow, I digress. There is always a massive queue to swipe out.  Various people think it is ok to just walk down the side of the queue and then push in.  No one says anything. 

Tonight, I got a bit fed up and called two people out. The people behind me kind of mumbled agreement with me. Fine, but fucking call them out yourself and people might begin to see that this is rude, selfish and basic bad form. 

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Cunts throwing fag butts on the ground as they clearly think due to their size it doesn't count.

I'd feed them to the lions. Drizzled in Frank's hot sauce. 

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Just now, ccc said:

Cunts throwing fag butts on the ground as they clearly think due to their size it doesn't count.

I'd feed them to the lions. Drizzled in Frank's hot sauce. 

Not a pretty sight!:o

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52 minutes ago, ccc said:

Cunts throwing fag butts on the ground as they clearly think due to their size it doesn't count.

I'd feed them to the lions. Drizzled in Frank's hot sauce. 

Available from you local @Frank Hovis stockist...

 

XYY

 

 

 

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6 hours ago, ccc said:

Cunts throwing fag butts on the ground as they clearly think due to their size it doesn't count.

I'd feed them to the lions. Drizzled in Frank's hot sauce. 

doesn't count, CCC, if you just mutter into your crusty baps.  You do not get a credit on this thread.

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2 hours ago, wherebee said:

doesn't count, CCC, if you just mutter into your crusty baps.  You do not get a credit on this thread.

What are you talking aboot !!!! 

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