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Kurt Barlow

I'm under attack by the Workplace Diversity Nazis

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I have received an instruction no less from the MD and the Director of Diversity and other Fuckwittery to complete my diversity profile on SAP! This includes gender, ethnicity, faith, sexual orientation, and disability. 

I am minded to refuse. Or I might put Tourettes Syndrome in the disability bit which will help when I respond to their follow up. 

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4 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

I have received an instruction no less from the MD and the Director of Diversity and other Fuckwittery to complete my diversity profile on SAP! This includes gender, ethnicity, faith, sexual orientation, and disability. 

I am minded to refuse. Or I might put Tourettes Syndrome in the disability bit which will help when I respond to their follow up. 

Haven’t we already got a thread on this and as a fully fledged, card carrying, Muslim, you we’re going to turn up in your ethnic outfit?  

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I’d be more concerned about having to deal with SAP than diversity tra8n8ng. At least you can ignore the diversity train8ing and it won’t give you night terrors.

Godd luck. all such training at my place is compulsory and logged on the system, there is no escaping it, including the totally unironic train8ng on reclaiming and maximising your time.

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Just now, One percent said:

Haven’t we already got a thread on this and as a fully fledged, card carrying, Muslim, you we’re going to turn up in your ethnic outfit?  

Well yes - this is a continuation but its cranked up a level from my boss to the MD and Director of Diversity & Fuckwittery. 

I may complete putting I'm a RoPer. 

1 minute ago, Melchett said:

I’d be more concerned about having to deal with SAP than diversity tra8n8ng. At least you can ignore the diversity train8ing and it won’t give you night terrors.

Godd luck. all such training at my place is compulsory and logged on the system, there is no escaping it, including the totally unironic train8ng on reclaiming and maximising your time.

Amen Brother. 

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Oh, it’s your profile not your training.

companies want this to show they are diverse. You could of course self identify as a one legged Apache attack helicopter and threaten to call 8n the diversity police if they dispute you?

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Just now, Melchett said:

Oh, it’s your profile not your training.

companies want this to show they are diverse. You could of course self identify as a one legged Apache attack helicopter and threaten to call 8n the diversity police if they dispute you?

We have to complete an online profile - I think its a bit like the 21 century version of the armband. 

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I would put down trans lesbian because, as all DOSBODERs know, it is is true since I cam out on here several months ago..

I would feel very, very uncomfortable, threatened and vulnerable being forced to out myself to countless strangers who may have access to the information. I would ber very concerned that the information could be used by others to intimidate, threaten or sexually abuse me. It could also be used to discriminate against me within the company when it came to my everyday work, promotion and perhaps even redundancy.

I would be absolutely horrified by being so forcibly outed against my will under threat for my job. The stress, fear, intimidation and potential ridicule could lead to a mental collapse or even suicide.

 

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I posted on here several weeks ago that I failed my Equality & Diversity training 3 times.

Had it been a 4th time then my manager could have sent me for extra awareness training . *shudder*

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Fill in your profile. If you've nothing to hide you've nothing to fear.

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5 minutes ago, yfwr jin said:

You could always tick more than one box under each heading or the old pastafarian for religion.

Reminder to all you Pastafarians, next Wednesday (19th) is "Talk like a pirate" day.

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5 minutes ago, Melchett said:

I’d be more concerned about having to deal with SAP than diversity tra8n8ng. At least you can ignore the diversity train8ing and it won’t give you night terrors.

Godd luck. all such training at my place is compulsory and logged on the system, there is no escaping it, including the totally unironic train8ng on reclaiming and maximising your time.

The nuttiness of online systems in large organisations is beyond comparison.

I bought a few odds and ends for water testing - Ex 50 Phenol Red tablets for testing pH which cost abost about 8 quid. I didn't need many. Ive just been hauled over the coals for not using our procurement catalogue. Result - smallest order they would except would be for 5000 at 80x the cost of the 50 I bought which will last 2-3 years.  

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1 minute ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I would put down trans lesbian because, as all DOSBODERs know, it is is true since I cam out on here several months ago..

I would feel very, very uncomfortable, threatened and vulnerable being forced to out myself to countless strangers who may have access to the information. I would ber very concerned that the information could be used by others to intimidate, threaten or sexually abuse me. It could also be used to discriminate against me within the company when it came to my everyday work, promotion and perhaps even redundancy.

I would be absolutely horrified by being so forcibly outed against my will under threat for my job. The stress, fear, intimidation and potential ridicule could lead to a mental collapse or even suicide.

 

Surely not that would be terrible. Much more likely you would need 12 months signed off with stress and subsequent recuperative leave to ground yourself as an individual and find your inner light again?

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8 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I would put down trans lesbian because, as all DOSBODERs know, it is is true since I cam out on here several months ago..

I would feel very, very uncomfortable, threatened and vulnerable being forced to out myself to countless strangers who may have access to the information. I would ber very concerned that the information could be used by others to intimidate, threaten or sexually abuse me. It could also be used to discriminate against me within the company when it came to my everyday work, promotion and perhaps even redundancy.

I would be absolutely horrified by being so forcibly outed against my will under threat for my job. The stress, fear, intimidation and potential ridicule could lead to a mental collapse or even suicide.

 

True. Something like that might lead to a few weeks off with stress... ideally on a beach, with drinks with little umbrellas in them.

@Funn3r beat me to it!

Edited by Southmartin

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1 minute ago, Funn3r said:

Surely not that would be terrible. Much more likely you would need 12 months signed off with stress and subsequent recuperative leave to ground yourself as an individual and find your inner light again?

 

Thank you. I did wonder whether a lawyer might demand 500,000 pounds compensation or more. Maybe a million or two? Three? How about a round 5?

Joking aside, people who are forced to do this are in terrible danger IMPO.

The Nazis made Jews register as being Jewish. They got little yellow stars as a thank you for identifying themselves to the authorities. We all know where that led.

Just now, Southmartin said:

True. Something like that might lead to a few weeks off with stress... ideally on a beach, with drinks with little umbrellas in them.

 

A few weeks? You clearly underestimate how intimidated a trans lesbian would feel merely being told to fill in such forms. Today it is a form, tomorrow it could be some islamic mob burning all the trans lesbians in town squares across the UK.

 

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13 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

Well yes - this is a continuation but its cranked up a level from my boss to the MD and Director of Diversity & Fuckwittery. 

I may complete putting I'm a RoPer. 

Amen Brother. 

I liked your original plan. It had a certain style. What’s sap btw?  I probably don’t want to know but curious now. 

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12 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I would put down trans lesbian because, as all DOSBODERs know, it is is true since I cam out on here several months ago..

I would feel very, very uncomfortable, threatened and vulnerable being forced to out myself to countless strangers who may have access to the information. I would ber very concerned that the information could be used by others to intimidate, threaten or sexually abuse me. It could also be used to discriminate against me within the company when it came to my everyday work, promotion and perhaps even redundancy.

I would be absolutely horrified by being so forcibly outed against my will under threat for my job. The stress, fear, intimidation and potential ridicule could lead to a mental collapse or even suicide.

 

Or alternatively, six months off sick. :)

7 minutes ago, Southmartin said:

True. Something like that might lead to a few weeks off with stress... ideally on a beach, with drinks with little umbrellas in them.

@Funn3r beat me to it!

And me it would seem 

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To be serious (sorry) mental health in the workplace is a staggering problem. It's THE workplace health problem in fact with 70 million wasted person/days a year.

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7 minutes ago, Kurt Barlow said:

The nuttiness of online systems in large organisations is beyond comparison.

I bought a few odds and ends for water testing - Ex 50 Phenol Red tablets for testing pH which cost abost about 8 quid. I didn't need many. Ive just been hauled over the coals for not using our procurement catalogue. Result - smallest order they would except would be for 5000 at 80x the cost of the 50 I bought which will last 2-3 years.  

We have a procurement catalogue at work as the government insist on it, pack of A3 landscape plastic pockets £80. Can get the same thing on ebay, delivered for £5.

One of my previous places of employ had laboratories and test facilities, we needed a single bag of portland cement to make up a test simulant and a 32mm flat wood-bit. Would have cost a daft amount and taken 2 weeks through procurement so I got them from B&Q on the way home for the next day for £8.

Filled in an expenses form and stuck the receipt to it and gave it to procurement and told them to pay me the money.

The lazy tossers were not happy.

2 minutes ago, Funn3r said:

To be serious (sorry) mental health in the workplace is a staggering problem. It's THE workplace health problem in fact with 70 million wasted person/days a year.

Its good to know we are all here to help each other and relieve the burden on the British workplace.

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3 minutes ago, Chewing Grass said:

We have a procurement catalogue at work as the government insist on it, pack of A3 landscape plastic pockets £80. Can get the same thing on ebay, delivered for £5.

One of my previous places of employ had laboratories and test facilities, we needed a single bag of portland cement to make up a test simulant and a 32mm flat wood-bit. Would have cost a daft amount and taken 2 weeks through procurement so I got them from B&Q on the way home for the next day for £8.

Filled in an expenses form and stuck the receipt to it and gave it to procurement and told them to pay me the money.

The lazy tossers were not happy.

Its good to know we are all here to help each other and relieve the burden on the British workplace.

Yup. 

I got a quote from our catalogue for an closure to put our dust and noise monitoring kit in to stop it getting busted by the twats we employ in our workshops. It was over 1000 quid. 

On petty cash I bought a medium size dog cage from Argos for 25 that does the same job. 

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13 minutes ago, One percent said:

I liked your original plan. It had a certain style. What’s sap btw?  I probably don’t want to know but curious now. 

Stifle

All

Productivity

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15 minutes ago, One percent said:

I liked your original plan. It had a certain style. What’s sap btw?  I probably don’t want to know but curious now. 

Germany's revenge on the rest of the World for losing WW2

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SAP_SE

When I worked for Saudi Aramco we decided that SAP stood for Saudi Aramco's Problem

2 minutes ago, Option5 said:

Stifle

All

Productivity

I like it - I shall strive to use that tomorrow. 

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