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This Time

Does anyone actually like patterned toilet roll?

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The stuff has become ubiquitous. I just discovered that Tesco own brand is pattern free but they're switching to patterned now. Can anyone recommend a toilet roll that's as soft as Andrex used to be before this madness took hold?

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2 minutes ago, This Time said:

The stuff has become ubiquitous. I just discovered that Tesco own brand is pattern free but they're switching to patterned now. Can anyone recommend a toilet roll that's as soft as Andrex used to be before this madness took hold?

 

The pattern actually serves to give the paper strength believe it or not.

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Just now, The Masked Tulip said:

 

The pattern actually serves to give the paper strength believe it or not.

Totally untrue, I'm forever putting my fingers through it.

Just now, swiss_democracy_for_all said:

This or cheaper Aldi equivalents. 

Moist-Toilet-Tissue-A.jpg?o=s7tOHS1X3%40u6cN8W8GXJQOLv0Woj&V=5BV7&w=1500&p=2&q=50

They say they're flushable but they're not.

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Just now, The Masked Tulip said:

 

Perhaps you are bionic. Maybe 'they' replaced your bits with bio-mechanical devices whilst you were knocked out?

Perhaps elves come and sharpen my nails in the night. I never used to bother washing my hands after a piss because I never got wee on my hands but now I have to wash nearly every time. (I always wash my hands after a shit in case anyone is worried).

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9 minutes ago, This Time said:

They say they're flushable but they're not.

I think they work on it being a statement of fact, rather than fully considered advice.

Ie, they could say that the tissue things are flushable in that they do actually flush down your toilet, but aren't compatible with your sewers or your local sewage treatment plant.  But they just stop at the first bit because the rest isn't good marketing.

Edited by dgul

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Just now, swiss_democracy_for_all said:

How so? The Aldi ones are just moistened paper, no plastic added.

Otherwise get a bidet, or one of those toilets with an arse-washing attachment.

They're stronger that regular toilet paper so don't disintegrate the way it should. We're in rented so changing the bathroom isn't an option, I'd also be worried about spraying feacal matter upmy foof.

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6 minutes ago, This Time said:

Perhaps elves come and sharpen my nails in the night. I never used to bother washing my hands after a piss because I never got wee on my hands but now I have to wash nearly every time. (I always wash my hands after a shit in case anyone is worried).

Maybe your carnivore diet is giving you piss as acidic as xenomorph blood.

 

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43 minutes ago, swiss_democracy_for_all said:

How so? The Aldi ones are just moistened paper, no plastic added.

Otherwise get a bidet, or one of those toilets with an arse-washing attachment.

I have a septic tank and the cleaning man says they are a nightmare. You can do a test by putting some toilet paper in a jar of water and give it a shake . Then do the same with a wipe.

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make your own by getting a pump action dispenser for liquid soap or hand creme and squirt it onto normal loo roll.

 

edit, don't like patterns, especially those containing the colours yellow or brown.

Edited by steppensheep

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18 minutes ago, NewryH said:

I have a septic tank and the cleaning man says they are a nightmare. You can do a test by putting some toilet paper in a jar of water and give it a shake . Then do the same with a wipe.

I'll do that, I think, just to be sure. Pretty sure the ones I use are fairly ok. In CH most people live in apartment buildings so the concierge will soon make rules if people are fucking up the sewage outlets.

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The Co-op own brand stuff isn't bad. Not cheap though, as it's Co-op.

But if I wipe my arse on it, I don't really care about softness. Incidentally I do remember a study years ago that showed a direct correlation between household wealth and toilet paper softness:  the richer that people were, the less soft their toilet paper was.

*I realise it's different for (some) women.

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6 minutes ago, spunko said:

The Co-op own brand stuff isn't bad. Not cheap though, as it's Co-op.

But if I wipe my arse on it, I don't really care about softness. Incidentally I do remember a study years ago that showed a direct correlation between household wealth and toilet paper softness:  the richer that people were, the less soft their toilet paper was.

*I realise it's different for (some) women.

Whoever it is who buys the toilet paper in my work must be fucking minted then.

I've thought about bringing some in from home, but I can't bring myself to walk through the office with my own special toilet roll in hand.

xD

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2 minutes ago, SpectrumFX said:

Whoever it is who buys the toilet paper in my work must be fucking minted then.

I've thought about bringing some in from home, but I can't bring myself to walk through the office with my own special toilet roll in hand.

xD

At work the landlord buys the toilet paper, it could double up as 180 gsm sandpaper.

He has 2 bentleys... O.o

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37 minutes ago, longtomsilver said:

How many sheets do you get per roll? The really posh quilted brands have 180 whereas plain old regular bum wipe roll has 220-241. 

I bet they are adding air and subtracting paper. 🧻 

I thought that too but the plain and embossed packets I have both claim 220 sheets.

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18 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

At least none us will ever again have to use this stuff to sort our arses. It was like trying to wipe with baking paper.

 

post-188-069914000 1296209762.jpg

I do actually remember that bog roll from school. 

There was a reason I never took a number 2 at school.  In fact the bogs were so grim rarely took a piss there.  Used to go home for lunch or to a mates who lived across the road from school so we just went there en route from the chippy :)

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24 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

At least none us will ever again have to use this stuff to sort our arses. It was like trying to wipe with baking paper.

 

post-188-069914000 1296209762.jpg

It was brilliant for wrapping round a comb for an impromptu musical instrument

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