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Great Guy

Lapdancers?

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Anyone go? I have to admit there is something magical about walking into a nightclub and seeing fit girls in their twenties walking about in their undies.

I've not been for a couple of years but I did go when I was working in the Middle East and was back in the UK :)

imho, a nice looking girl in her undies is one of the nicest things to look at. It's up there with a beautiful sunset or a forest :)

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2 minutes ago, Great Guy said:

Dosbods is more or less a confessional if you have anything to confess?

 

anything written here is for life, I'll pass.

Actually not a lot, but try telling your wife that having a 20 year old grinding your groin while rubbing thier tits in your face is "not a lot".

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I went back in the mid 90s when it was fairly new. Yes, young women rubbing against you in their knickers is great but is ultimately unsatisfying, better if you get to touch! The best part is just the chat.

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Never been in the slightest bit interested in the concept of lap dancers or strippers etc. Just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.

No problem with it, if it's something you enjoy then great.

 

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I have a friend who went to one in Edinburgh on his stag do 20 years ago.

'It was nice enough seeing young ladies wandering about in their undies and I had solo dance.  Again nice enough, but whether it was the alcohol that had been drunk and looking at your mates as they were getting one, it wasn't particularly sexy and I wasn't turned on.  Then, they clubbed together to get me a group session.  Two girls 'putting on a show' and then going round the 8 lads for a bit of a jiggle. Again a good laugh.  Then they called me out, made be take my trousers down and whipped my arse with my belt.  The best man then got the same treatment.  I think they took out some of their anger on him!  Entertaining certainly, but not any hint of Mr floppy rising to the occasion (thankfully) or indeed any welt marks to explain'. 

He said.

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I dont get them, the clubs.

What do I get?

I get to spend a fortune of shit drinks just to look at a girl in a bikini.

You can go to the beach and get the same for free.

You are not going to meet a girl in these places are you?

It just seems to be totally fucking naff, thought up by some fat ugly cunt who cannot talk to girls.

 

 

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I went a couple of times on work-dos back in the '90s when they became a thing and I was young and knew no better. The worst bit was making polite conversation before the music started. I asked one girl if she'd read any good books lately. I asked another if she enjoyed the work and she said "no, it's horrible", which added a certain melancholy twinge to the subsequent arse-wafting-in-face to the strains of Blackstreet's 'No Diggety'. 

I also found it funny that blokes would misread the body language and think that the girl was genuinely interested in them. An Indian work colleague was convinced he was in with one girl and approached her at the bar when she was on a break. Just as he opened his mouth she just went "are you going to fuck off or what?" and he turned immediately around. 

 

 

 

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Oh for the love of God, just go all in and fuck a hooker.

Seriously, what a waste of time and money.

"I know lets pay to sit and look at women I can't have sex with..."

I look at women all the time that I can't have sex with. It's called 'life'.

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14 minutes ago, Shatner's Bassoon said:

I went a couple of times on work-dos back in the '90s when they became a thing and I was young and knew no better. The worst bit was making polite conversation before the music started. I asked one girl if she'd read any good books lately. I asked another if she enjoyed the work and she said "no, it's horrible", which added a certain melancholy twinge to the subsequent arse-wafting-in-face to the strains of Blackstreet's 'No Diggety'. 

I also found it funny that blokes would misread the body language and think that the girl was genuinely interested in them. An Indian work colleague was convinced he was in with one girl and approached her at the bar when she was on a break. Just as he opened his mouth she just went "are you going to fuck off or what?" and he turned immediately around. 

 

 

 

Strippers. Random women in the street. Female work mates ....

I dont think theres a single social situation where an Indian doesnt misread the signs or just think hes attractive.

Ive explained it many many time - Im not sure how it works in Indian but a fat dork with poor personal hygiene is not much of a catch 1000miles away from the Mumbai slums.

 

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It's never appealed to me. I went once for a friend's stag night and it was frankly embarrassing. Prostitution at least involves some sort of sexual release, but with lap-dancing it seems to me that the men are just being exploited and teased, basically humiliated by being told 'look but don't touch'. It's like taking a kid to a sweetshop or a toyshop and telling him he mustn't buy anything. The places are most likely run by Peter Stringfellow types who get all the girls they want and think the men are just a bunch of sad cash cows.

I also dislike the sort of stupid macho 'Birmingham's most successful kitchen salesmen of the year Award' type men that go to these places.

Just now, spygirl said:

Strippers. Random women in the street. Female work mates ....

I dont think theres a single social situation where an Indian doesnt misread the signs or just think hes attractive.

Ive explained it many many time - Im not sure how it works in Indian but a fat dork with poor personal hygiene is not much of a catch 1000miles away from the Mumbai slums.

 

Summed up perfectly in the Peter Sellers film 'The Party'.

The scene where he misreads the signals from a doped-up hippy chick and starts doing a foxtrot round the dancefloor with her is the best bit.

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I've been quite a few times over the years as my mates love them.  Don't really like them if I'm honest, always make me feel a bit awkward.  Had a girl once pay for us both to have a dance together and it just made me feel uncomfortable. 

Had one mate thrown out of one years ago as he kept touching (this place was quite strict about it) the dancer called him an Octopus and the name has stuck since.

Got another mate who managed to pull a lap dancer one night, went back to hers expecting to get his end away and ending up playing monopoly with her and her housemates,  he left at about 4 in the morning when it was clear he wasn't going to get any.

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From a female perspective about fifteen years ago I went on a “ladies” night arranged as a works outing. 

I don’t drink so at such events I amuse myself observing people as the night unfolds when lots of alcohol has been consumed.

There was dancing, a live Robbie Williams impersonator and the “highlight” of the evening was a male stripper. I felt sorry for the guy. He was constantly groped, snogged and mauled and managed to do his stint amongst all the screaming, lewd comments and physically invading his space. Maybe he enjoyed it?

Probably better being a female in that job because they have rules....look but don’t touch!

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2 minutes ago, ILikeCake said:

I've been quite a few times over the years as my mates love them.  Don't really like them if I'm honest, always make me feel a bit awkward.  Had a girl once pay for us both to have a dance together and it just made me feel uncomfortable. 

Had one mate thrown out of one years ago as he kept touching (this place was quite strict about it) the dancer called him an Octopus and the name has stuck since.

Got another mate who managed to pull a lap dancer one night, went back to hers expecting to get his end away and ending up playing monopoly with her and her housemates,  he left at about 4 in the morning when it was clear he wasn't going to get any.

LOL typical daft man believing that women are interested in sex the same way men are...I remember watching a prog about lapdancers and one was asked what she thought about when dancing, she replied 'usually about what I'm going to have for dinner'.

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4 minutes ago, Austin Allegro said:

LOL typical daft man believing that women are interested in sex the same way men are...I remember watching a prog about lapdancers and one was asked what she thought about when dancing, she replied 'usually about what I'm going to have for dinner'.

I know bless him. He's a great bloke but not the brightest and a bit naive...poor sod is currently getting divorced, his Mrs has binned him off, usual story.

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1 hour ago, gilf said:

Never been in the slightest bit interested in the concept of lap dancers or strippers etc. Just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.

No problem with it, if it's something you enjoy then great.

 

i worked provideing security one night for the sunday sports troup in the mid 90s,an entertaining night 

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The only point is to size up an extremely fit and shapely ho who can dance well. Where I went years back some would do extras if you asked them and they liked you(they turned down some), you could take them home at the end of their shift.

So if you have money to burn and want to fulfil a fantasy....(there was a gorgeous set of twins)

Otherwise it's a bit crap IMO, I'd rather do a whole host of other things, especially now.

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Tried it a couple of times and quite enjoyed sitting at the stage and watching whilst having a drink. Beyond that though it left me cold and feeling quite uncomfortable so I wouldn’t repeat the experience.

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After an all day drinking session in Cardiff I was a little tired and emotional and thought we had gone to a night club 

Imagine my surprise when a hot chick approached our table and got her tits out, that’s my main experience of lap dancing clubs 

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probably cheaper to go the brother ,a couple of dances at 20 quid a go enterence to the venue tips to the girls and 5 quid a pint or just go take your pick at your local massage parlour ....at least your know your going to get a fuck.

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6 minutes ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Same with my mates stag. It was the most un-erotic thing I've ever seen and when they started waxing his pubes I binned it and went outside for a smoke.

Another one was a stripper that turned up for a birthday in a locked pub. She was as rough as a sackful of arseholes and looked like she'd taken a few hours off her usual job of carrying a hod up some scaffolding to come and take her clothes off for a bit. Again, I binned it half way and went for a smoke, she was putting me off my pint.

To be honest, I think if you wanted the 'fantasy' stripper/lapdancer experience you need to paying a seriously large amount of cash. 20 quid a bounce in some fleapit is going to be comparable to an accidental frottage from a fat lass on the tube.

LOL I went to one of those about 25 years ago. She was actually quite a pretty girl, but she ended up lying on a sticky pub carpet with her legs spread open in the air with some song like 'Tainted Love' playing while a crowd of middle aged men stood around looking at her munching crisps and slurping pints of Courage Best. Do such places even exist now? I would have thought the Sisterhood would have had them shut down on grounds of 'visual rape' long ago.

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Reminds me how I met a stripper at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere in Wales. Bursting out of a too small sexy schoolgirl outfit and dragging a trolleycase. I didn't say anything but my suspicions were confirmed when the bus passed a pub that was having an opening, a load of blokes waiting outside and waving as we went past. Nice girl, student doing a summer job.

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1 hour ago, spygirl said:

 

You are not going to meet a girl in these places are you?

 

 

 

I had a brief encounter with a English undergrad lap dancer in Bournemouth, worked at the one up the top end near walkabouts, name of the establishment and the girl fail me.

TBH it was a huge ego boost for a week or two then a right PITA having to drive to Bournemouth, nice enough girl but less effort involved in the girls closer to where I lived.

 

 

 

 

Oh, Crystal, that was the name..

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7 minutes ago, Panther said:

Reminds me how I met a stripper at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere in Wales. Bursting out of a too small sexy schoolgirl outfit and dragging a trolleycase. I didn't say anything but my suspicions were confirmed when the bus passed a pub that was having an opening, a load of blokes waiting outside and waving as we went past. Nice girl, student doing a summer job.

I remember being accosted in London by a hatchet-faced woman plastered in makeup, dragging a trolley case who said 'excuse me, do you know "For Your Eyes Only"?'

I smirked and replied 'Yes, it's a James Bond film, starring Roger Moore.'

She looked really arsey and said 'No, I mean the gentleman's club that's around here somewhere'.

I said I had no idea and she stalked off looking annoyed.

The thing is that 30 minutes later she was probably oozing charm all over some middle aged businessman.

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