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Van Lady

Doing nothing. Rejecting the busy all the time world

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3 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

A lot of the time I like doing nothing much. Going for a walk, thinking, reading and listening to music.

Those are very fulfilling and valuable activities EE.

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Me too. When the weathers nice, I like sitting in my garden not doing much of anything in particular, just watching and listening to the birds, looking at the internet from time to time and reaching for my guitar when the mood takes me.

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I feel guilty when I'm relaxing and doing nothing much. These days though I have a full to do list that I gradually work through. There's enough to keep me occupied and lots of things to do when I can be bothered to get around to them. 

I'm also busy making plans that sometimes never get any further than the making plan stage before they are superceded by the next better plan!! 

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3 minutes ago, sleepwello'nights said:

I feel guilty when I'm relaxing and doing nothing much. These days though I have a full to do list that I gradually work through. There's enough to keep me occupied and lots of things to do when I can be bothered to get around to them. 

I'm also busy making plans that sometimes never get any further than the making plan stage before they are superceded by the next better plan!! 

You would be ideal for a major rail project.

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8 minutes ago, sleepwello'nights said:

I feel guilty when I'm relaxing and doing nothing much. These days though I have a full to do list that I gradually work through. There's enough to keep me occupied and lots of things to do when I can be bothered to get around to them. 

I'm also busy making plans that sometimes never get any further than the making plan stage before they are superceded by the next better plan!! 

All sounds good to me except the feeling guilty when you're relaxing and doing nothing much. Try not to feel guilty, learn to enjoy it and feel it's your right as a human being to do nothing much at times. IMO.

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Just now, Economic Exile said:

All sounds good to me except the feeling guilty when you're relaxing and doing nothing much. Try not to feel guilty, learn to enjoy it and feel it's your right as a human being to do nothing much at times. IMO.

I tell myself exactly that, it doesn't stop the feelings of guilt though. I can trace the feelings back to when how hard my mother worked to keep us after she separated from my father. 

I guess that's a parents job, to pass on all the hang ups their parents gave them and to add a few more of their own. 

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15 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

Glad to see I have some kindred spirits who reject the idea that we should be busy busy all the time.

Great 👍🏻

#the lazyfuckersfightback xD

I work 4 days a week, my day off rarely involves rushing around. I may go for a walk, the cinema or just sit down and spend the whole day reading a book. 

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Sometimes on government projects the best option is doing nothing i.e. being seen to be thinking about doing something because it is actually cheaper in the short term.

Some people call this kicking the can down the road and it is the often the low-risk route favoured by project managers, which is a bit strange as it infers that there isn't really a project to manage.........

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2 minutes ago, sleepwello'nights said:

I tell myself exactly that, it doesn't stop the feelings of guilt though. I can trace the feelings back to when how hard my mother worked to keep us after she separated from my father. 

I guess that's a parents job, to pass on all the hang ups their parents gave them and to add a few more of their own. 

I empathise.

A turning point for me was when I booked for a mindfulness course at a nearby Buddhist monastery, Samye Ling.

The opening remark from Rob Nairn who is a Buddhist author/teacher with a psychology and I think law? background.

He said "Why do we always rush around? I hope you all want to explore the idea of just sitting with yourself"

I too was conditioned to the idea that I must always be busy. Mindfulness/meditation along with Buddhist philosophy (and other ideas I'd encountered before that) was an idea for helping me to live in the moment in a crazy world.

Another idea that inspired me was......a thought is just a thought. It has no real power over me, it has no substance and I can learn to sift through thoughts and let thoughts go that aren't useful for peaceful living in the day.

 

 

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21 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

All sounds good to me except the feeling guilty when you're relaxing and doing nothing much. Try not to feel guilty, learn to enjoy it and feel it's your right as a human being to do nothing much at times. IMO.

I think I disagree. I have had times in my life when I had nothing that needed doing and it was quite depressing. Doing nothing when there is something that you should be doing seems much more indulgent.

A lie in is only really good when you should get up to do something. 

My wife and I get much more pleasure going out to lunch when we should be at work than going out for dinner when we don't need to be doing anything.

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I still feel that I am 17 but the past 12 years were crap for me healthwise... and I thought I was going a few times.... Now, I just live for the moment... A big part of my change in mindset was forced upon me... it was hellish but, in so many ways, it was good for my soul... Ego is one of the biggest problems for us all... I find myself now surrounded by idiots with egos... and amongs them are wonderous people.

I cycled along Swansea sea-front today in the pouring rain, with gusts of wind lifting my bike off the ground, whilst singing several songs from Les Miserables. I felt exhilarated and happy... people looked at me as if I was mad... I looked at them with sadness... and moved on to the next song.

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2 minutes ago, Cunning Plan said:

I think I disagree. I have had times in my life when I had nothing that needed doing and it was quite depressing. Doing nothing when there is something that you should be doing seems much more indulgent.

A lie in is only really good when you should get up to do something. 

My wife and I get much more pleasure going out to lunch when we should be at work than going out for dinner when we don't need to be doing anything.

Going out to lunch when you should be at work sounds great. I've done that myself!

I agree that feeling one has nothing to do or no purpose can be depressing.

As a meditator I no longer get that feeling. 

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15 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I still feel that I am 17 but the past 12 years were crap for me healthwise... and I thought I was going a few times.... Now, I just live for the moment... A big part of my change in mindset was forced upon me... it was hellish but, in so many ways, it was good for my soul... Ego is one of the biggest problems for us all... I find myself now surrounded by idiots with egos... and amongs them are wonderous people.

I cycled along Swansea sea-front today in the pouring rain, with gusts of wind lifting my bike off the ground, whilst singing several songs from Les Miserables. I felt exhilarated and happy... people looked at me as if I was mad... I looked at them with sadness... and moved on to the next song.

Ego. I agree a huge problem. Me, me, me......so important etc....

I lost mine through my various life experiences and explorations. So glad I did!

I can relate about the weird looks you get when cycling and singing. Sometimes I sing when walking my dogs, usually no one is around but occasionally someone is and I get the weird look. Their problem not mine IMO.

If I saw someone singing or dancing in public I would admire them TMT. If I hear a tune or song that makes me feel like dancing on a high street I'm just going to do it and don't care about the weird looks :)

Edited by Economic Exile

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12 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I still feel that I am 17 but the past 12 years were crap for me healthwise... and I thought I was going a few times.... Now, I just live for the moment... A big part of my change in mindset was forced upon me... it was hellish but, in so many ways, it was good for my soul... Ego is one of the biggest problems for us all... I find myself now surrounded by idiots with egos... and amongs them are wonderous people.

I cycled along Swansea sea-front today in the pouring rain, with gusts of wind lifting my bike off the ground, whilst singing several songs from Les Miserables. I felt exhilarated and happy... people looked at me as if I was mad... I looked at them with sadness... and moved on to the next song.

Couldn't agree more. When you lose your health, you realise it is worth so much more than just about anything else. And that you've wasted far too much negative energy in your life on inconsequential things. 

It seems we all recognise this on one level, but you have to experience it to fully appreciate it. There's the rub

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5 minutes ago, Economic Exile said:

Going out to lunch when you should be at work sounds great. I've done that myself!

I agree that feeling one has nothing to do or no purpose can be depressing.

As a meditator I no longer get that feeling. 

My biggest problem is feelings of guilt that I haven't achieved anything if I'm not being productive. I've had such a lazy day today. Just started some new meds and I'm trying to get to grips with them so have lazed about but feel I've lost the day.

I've had lots of days off over the last few months and have been suffering overwhelming apathy. I did realise that if I'm not working I'm pretty miserable despite the fact that if I could afford it I'd give it all up tomorrow. 

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42 minutes ago, sleepwello'nights said:

I tell myself exactly that, it doesn't stop the feelings of guilt though. I can trace the feelings back to when how hard my mother worked to keep us after she separated from my father. 

I guess that's a parents job, to pass on all the hang ups their parents gave them and to add a few more of their own. 

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.   
    They may not mean to, but they do.   
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.
 
But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,   
Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.
 
Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.
 
:)

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20 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

I cycled along Swansea sea-front today in the pouring rain, with gusts of wind lifting my bike off the ground, whilst singing several songs from Les Miserables. I felt exhilarated and happy... people looked at me as if I was mad... I looked at them with sadness... and moved on to the next song.

You are Swansea's answer to 'Slo-mo'; watch this little documentary below. I loved this when I saw it but I had no idea what part of America he was in. Then last year, I was strolling along a random beach in San Diego and, I kid you not, he glides past me and then stops for a rest just ahead of me. I introduced myself and we chatted for about 15 minutes, he has an amazing approach to life that I can relate to; in fact I recommend everyone watch this:

 

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