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One percent

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle

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https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

We may have suspected it already, but now the science backs it up: unmarried and childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population. And they are more likely to live longer than their married and child-rearing peers, according to a leading expert in happiness.

Speaking at the Hay festival on Saturday, Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics, said the latest evidence showed that the traditional markers used to measure success did not correlate with happiness – particularly marriage and raising children.

“Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: fucking miserable,” he said.

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2 minutes ago, JoeDavola said:

Oh and all I can say is that among the 29-39 year old women I know there ones with kids seem much happier, content, calmer.

The ones without generally have histories of mental illness or chronic caeerism and spend lots of time harping on about issues on social media and reading the guardian.

The ones with kids dont bother with that as they've got their kids to look after. But fair play to the childless sorts for keeping wine sales up, yoga classes in business, and man spreaders chastised.

And providing a “healthy” demand for Prozac.

 

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9 minutes ago, Hail the Tripod said:

And providing a “healthy” demand for Prozac.

Yes one of the childless women I was referring to has been on 7, yes seven different antidepressants over the years.

But at least the guardians here to tell her that she'd be even more miserable with a husband and kid, so keep working late at the office.

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It's always going to be a loaded question asking a singleton if they're happy. To admit that they're not is to admit that they need affirmation from someone else to truly be happy - not exactly the "empowered" image women are encouraged to put out there these days.

My wife would be fucking miserable without me because she doesn't know how to start the lawnmower. 

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Suicide rates between groups tell a different story.

fwir, Brazil has a low suicide rate and Rio has a very low rate for a large city. Mainly middle class young males. 

 

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2 hours ago, SpectrumFX said:

So we've manipulated society and our socioeconomic model so that a traditional family setup is almost impossible, and leaves those trying it living in a spectrum from frazzled to fucked.

And I'm supposed to be surprised that they're not happy?

xD

 

 

Very true IMO. Most parents I see are absolutely burnt out.

The divorce rate at my kids school  between people who (again IMO) have augered themselves into the ground to breaking point just to keep a house running and the kids in line is seriously high.

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Anecdotally - No.

Childless single wimmin over the age of 40 are the most miserable demographic I meet.

The study might be selecting a very small, well off number single childless wimmin i.e. the type who go to hays festival and convince themselves not having kids was a worthwhile sacrifice, allowing them to study the works of Germane Greer.

Then theyll get to 60, lose their job, find theyve no pension, have a fall then be eaten by their cats.

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, JoeDavola said:

Oh and all I can say is that among the 29-39 year old women I know there ones with kids seem much happier, content, calmer.

The ones without generally have histories of mental illness or chronic caeerism and spend lots of time harping on about issues on social media and reading the guardian.

The ones with kids dont bother with that as they've got their kids to look after. But fair play to the childless sorts for keeping wine sales up, yoga classes in business, and man spreaders chastised.

This rings true too. They might just squeeze one out at 36, you can see the genetic collapse on the way. 

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3 hours ago, JoeDavola said:

Oh and all I can say is that among the 29-39 year old women I know there ones with kids seem much happier, content, calmer.

The ones without generally have histories of mental illness or chronic caeerism and spend lots of time harping on about issues on social media and reading the guardian.

The ones with kids dont bother with that as they've got their kids to look after. But fair play to the childless sorts for keeping wine sales up, yoga classes in business, and man spreaders chastised.

You wait til you start meeting 50+ wimmin without kids.

You dont know the meaning of loon.

 

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I'd say it would depend on the metric.

If you're going by self-reported happiness levels then I'm sure that unmarried 40 year old women are happiest; they do go on about it.  Cognitive dissonance is a funny thing.

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3 hours ago, One percent said:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

We may have suspected it already, but now the science backs it up: unmarried and childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population. And they are more likely to live longer than their married and child-rearing peers, according to a leading expert in happiness.

Speaking at the Hay festival on Saturday, Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics, said the latest evidence showed that the traditional markers used to measure success did not correlate with happiness – particularly marriage and raising children.

“Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they’re asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: fucking miserable,” he said.

As others have mentioned or implied, I suspect if you limited the questioned women to those able to manage financially on their husband’s wage while chid-rearing, the results would be very different. This is about economics and the fact that single or childless women are under less pressure.

In Hungary,  the indigenous population having many children is financially encouraged, while immigration is being resisted. 

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3 minutes ago, dgul said:

I'd say it would depend on the metric.

If you're going by self-reported happiness levels then I'm sure that unmarried 40 year old women are happiest; they do go on about it.  Cognitive dissonance is a funny thing.

I dont need a husbands and kids me.

Ive my career, my convetiable

Me and my GF go on three holidays a years.

Life great!!!!!!

I dotn need a man or kids to be happy.

<4 years later>

Her friends have snaffled the last wierd mna0fuit on the loon tree - Well hes not much to look at and, after his divorce and gambling spell, he doesnt have any money but I didnt want to grow old by myself...

Ah, come in Ms Singleton45. Im afraid the local authority cuts have mean weve haved to reduce our payroll costs and so your job as life coach no longer exists.

 

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Posted (edited)

Oh and the other surrogate family member seems to be Social Media for these types - being seen as eternally trendy despite the fact you're pushing 40 or well over 40. They also tend to be wealthy/trustafarian types - you tend not to see a 45 year old childless woman on the checkouts in Tescos or cleaning toilets for a living singing this 'children are cramping my style' song.

And I say this as someone who has never been trendy and has made peace with that.

I spent yesterday with my friend and his 6 month old and neither he nor his wife even have a Facebook account, cause they've got better things to do than to prove to the world how cool they are.

Edited by JoeDavola

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Posted (edited)

Where do people get the idea that we were put on earth to be happy  ?

And quite how does one measure happiness ?

I can’t help thinking Der Sturmer describing this sort of study as scientific is stretching the term to breaking point.

Incidentally women without children probably live longer because childbirth naturally involves risks including post natal depression, high blood pressure, diabetes, post natal infection  etc.

Still worth skipping a real life to spend an extra couple of years in an old folks home in Weston Super Mare

 

 

Edited by Virgil Caine

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Sgt Hartman said:

Very true IMO. Most parents I see are absolutely burnt out.

The divorce rate at my kids school  between people who (again IMO) have augered themselves into the ground to breaking point just to keep a house running and the kids in line is seriously high.

The only people I know who are comfortable financially have completely let go of the idea that they'll ever achieve any sort of social mobiliy via their toil - by that I mean they shouldn't ever expect to have a better quality of life than the average tax credit recipient, and any attempt to do so will at worst ruin them and at best leave them a debt slave until the day they die.

Hence my mate who lives in the council estate and has no plans to leave it like our friend stokie. Another mate bought a house for 100K when prices crashed, and realized that now prices have bounced back if he wants to move 'up the ladder' to a house that's in any way measurably better to what he has he'll have to take on an additional 100K of debt and he's not prepared to do that at age 35 (rightfully so) for an extra fucking bedroom and a slightly bigger kitchen - of course that choice relies on having a wife that won't leave you for being 'unambitious'. Even then he gets up at 6am for the commute to a job where he earns double the average wage, while his next door neighbour is a tax credit recipient who gets her rent paid.

Over on the NI forum of ToS we've been discussing the fact that there's certain areas of Belfast over the last five years where prices have been shooting up year on year as people get into mad bidding wars because they want to live in one of the 'good' areas - much of this is ego as Belfast is a small enough place you can get anywhere fairly quickly. But these people are stretching themselves to the very limit and beyond because they don't think they'd be happy 'settling for less' but it seems like an awful way to live and as you say the constant financial strain must not make for a happy relationship.

Edited by JoeDavola

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Peoples thoughts and emotions should mirror the reality of the world. 

To want to be happy all the time is not only unachievable it is dangerous and leads to a sort of emotional retardation where feelings are seen as being commodities like any other consumer good.

My idea of hell is to live in a world of upbeat overachievers (not that is ever going to occur)

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