I wanna be number one, how do I make Google love me long time?

[Carl Fimble]

Edit: Removed as per OP's request

 

[201p]

Give a brown envelope to a director of said search engine?

[Snark]

Google (or rather the algorithms) doesn't like small businesses, the smaller you are the further down the rankings you end up, I knew a really good automotive parts supplier who had to close because despite being the only distributor in the UK for certain specialist parts, not like eurocarparts, but more project stuff, kitcars and classics, but they went under because despite paying for advertising on Google, the "competition" had much deeper pockets.

[Carl Fimble]

16 hours ago, 201p said:

Give a brown envelope to a director of said search engine?

That'd deemed racist in some way and I'd be unpersoned immediately. 

I've not really got any money either, and I don't think anyone would be swayed by an empty brown envelope. 

[spunko]

On 26/10/2020 at 09:48, Snark said:

Google (or rather the algorithms) doesn't like small businesses, the smaller you are the further down the rankings you end up, I knew a really good automotive parts supplier who had to close because despite being the only distributor in the UK for certain specialist parts, not like eurocarparts, but more project stuff, kitcars and classics, but they went under because despite paying for advertising on Google, the "competition" had much deeper pockets.

People forget that Googlebot isn't human. It has all the flaws of any robot or machine, and can easily be gamed or exploited (despite what they say). It's entirely possible to out-rank big brands like Euro Car Parts and just hope that nobody notices or reports you for 'cheating'. I am currently out-ranking a huge brand you've all heard of, and have been doing so for almost a year, with barely any effort.

[201p]

On 24/10/2020 at 00:32, Carl Fimble said:

That'd deemed racist in some way and I'd be unpersoned immediately. 

I've not really got any money either, and I don't think anyone would be swayed by an empty brown envelope. 

You could use a white envelope, but the contents maybe visible to outsiders if you choose to put anything in there like a "I like you" card. The choice of colour of the envelope is purely in support of brown envelope manufacturers as it looks like it was from recycled paper for extra brownie points. 

[onlyme]

If offering a local service that requires  physical visits or just something locally sourced and distributed I'd look into other avenues to advertise. Carding / leaflet drops - have a stash ready and drop them in to a few households when in the area, encourage your customers to spread the word, give them leaflets  / cards to hand out, incentivise them maybe even to do so. Signage for transport is usually pretty good for a few leads, if you don't want it permanent you can put vinyl lettering / graphics onto magnetic sheet colour coded to the vehicle.

[Fully Detached]

On 10/07/2019 at 01:19, Carl Fimble said:

I can't risk doxing myself

There's more than one pink pig that repairs washing machines in Edinburgh?

[Carl Fimble]

5 hours ago, Fully Detached said:

There's more than one pink pig that repairs washing machines in Edinburgh?

The washing machine repair was just a random thing I came up with. 

I don't want to give anything away but I can maybe say I have between ten and thirty competitors, depending on how far out I move my search for radius. 

I'm the only pink pig doing it though, I would imagine worldwide, in that respect I am unique.

How do I get Google to love me long time though?